SATURDAY NIGHT BLUES

SITTIN ON MY OWN ON A SATURDAY NIGHT
DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
NOTHING IN THE FRIDGE
NOTHING ON TV
THAT AIN’T NOTHING NEW

LET THE BUDGIE OUT FOR SOME EXERCISE
MADE MYSELF A CUP OF TEA
FORGOT ABOUT THE FECKIN CAT
I WASN’T SURPRISED ABOUT WHAT I WAS GONNA SEE
BLOOD AND FEATHERS EVERYWHERE
WHAT WAS IN MY HEAD
NOW I KNOW WHEN THE WIFE GETS IN I AM FECKIN DEAD

I KICKED THE CAT OUT IN THE YARD
WITH A BIG MEOW IT WENT
I FORGOT ABOUT THE FECKIN DOG
AND THE KIDS SLEEPIN IN THE TENT

I HOOVERED UP THE FEATHERS
WIPED THE BLOOD OFF THE WALLS AND FLOOR
I HEARD A SCREAM OUT IN THE YARD
SO I RAN OUT THE KITCHEN DOOR
THE DOG HAD KILLED THE FECKIN CAT
I COULDN’T TAKE MUCH MORE

THE KIDS WOKE UP IN THE TENT TO THE YELPIN FROM THE DOG
THEY THOUGHT SOMEBODY HAD BROKE IN
THE FECKERS TRIPPED ME WITH THE GARDEN RAKE
WHICH HIT ME IN THE FECKIN CHIN

I THOUGHT MY TROUBLES COULD GET NO WORSE
BUT TO MY DISMAY, I WAS WRONG
THE KIDS SCREAMIN AND CRYIN IN THE TENT
THEN THE DOORBELL GO DING DONG
WELL I NEARLY SHIT MY FECKIN PANTS
THE WIFE HAD JUST COME HOME

I THOUGHT OH NO, IT’S NOT MY FECKIN DAY
THE WIFE STANDIN AT THE FRONT DOOR
THE BUDGIE AND THE CAT WERE DEAD
THE DOG ABOUT THREE GARDENS AWAY
WHAT THE FECK WAS I GONNA SAY